Monday, November 2, 2009
Those Hilarious Church Bulletin Bloopers
Love those Church Ladies. They're back! Those wonderful church bulletins! Thank goodness for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences (all with bloopers) actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services.
Laugh, cry or just shake your head. Here we go .....
The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on Water". Sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus".
Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "Hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.
Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
Miss Charlene Mason sang, "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to the choir practice.
Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
Potluck Supper Sunday at 5:00 p.m. - prayer and medication to follow.
The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
This evening at 7 p.m. there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
Ladies' Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 a.m. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.
The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 p.m. Please use the back door.
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 p.m. at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
These make me laugh. If you have others, I'd love to hear those.
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